Hectic schedules lead to slacking bloggers. Instead of promising not to miss anymore days blogging only to miss the very next day, how about I just say right now that the next three weeks are going to be sporadic at best. I don't want to have one more thing I feel guilty about not keeping up with this month.
Have you ever heard that phrase (coined, I believe, by a svelte, size negative 10 model) that no cookie tastes better than skinny feels? I've actually heard it, or variations of the theme, a lot from well meaning and good hearted people since I started this blog. Don't get me wrong, I love advice. I started this blog to stay motivated and get encouragement and advice. Besides, a person doesn't lay all their problems out on the proverbial table without expecting some advice (some well-meaning, some not). Or if they don't, they are stupid. My problem is with how widespread this particular vein of thought is in our culture. The idea that if you just work hard enough or have enough willpower you will look like Kate Moss (or whoever this quote originated from). That just is not true for several reasons and trying to force yourself to live by this faulty mantra is a recipe for disaster.
This idea that, while your food indulgence would only taste good for a moment, being thin would make you happy for the rest of your life is simply not true. First of all, let me tell you that whoever said this originally has never had a really good cookie. Because let me tell you, if it is a good cookie, it is totally worth it. But putting that unhealthy logic aside, laying all your happiness on being thin is dangerous. Because then you become obsessed with food. Did I eat too much for breakfast? How many calories were those three croutons I accidentally ate with my salad at lunch? I'm really hungry; would it hurt me that much if I just grabbed a snickers bar from the gas station? Crap, I ate a snickers bar. I can't eat for the rest of the day! On and on it goes, ALL DAY LONG! I know this because this was my life for years.
Why am I bringing this up now? Well, we recently celebrated Independence Day. And celebrations seem to center around food. In the past I would have starved myself and resented all the other revelers as they gorged themselves on holidays goodies. But this year, I partook. And I don't feel guilty. As I am looking at my weekly pictures, I don't really think my body suffered much, if anything, from the temporary indulgence. And making those memories and enjoying the day with my family was worth more to me - and made me happier - than being skinny ever could. So while I did fall off the healthy eating bandwagon this week, I can't bring myself to regret it. I enjoyed myself and I know that I will be eating healthy again all this week and the weeks to come until the next family holiday. And I'm okay with that.
So, without further ado, here are my weekly pictures. I still look the same, I think, as I did that first week. Some day soon, I hope I start seeing a difference. But at least I know I am living a healthier lifestyle. So if I look like this for the rest of my life, as long as I keep living as I am now, I will be healthy. That is enough. At least today. I can't promise I won't look at these pictures tomorrow and spiral into a horrid depression over my obesity.
Today I ate:
2 Banana muffins (no flour, no sugar, no oil)
1 egg
1 cup of chili
(I have been battling a cold all weekend, so I haven't much felt like eating. I promise, this is not normal)
Exercise:
1 hour on the stationary bike
I had thought that I could sweat out my cold by not skipping my workout (plus, I'd already missed two workouts last week). Turns out, it worked (sort of). I feel a bit better and hopefully will sleep really well tonight. But with the cold and my broken pinkie toe, I didn't work as hard as normal. I only went about 14 miles. I'll do better tomorrow, right?
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